MORE 110

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CHAPTER 110: DARE TO LOVE ME: We Have No Future

Paula

Patrick’s trip lasted a week, and when he returned, he showed up at my door to continue our

encounters, which had been happening more frequently over time. I couldn’t deny that he was

a man who could make you feel on cloud nine–he was attentive and knew exactly what he

was doing in bed. I admitted that I was fascinated by him, but I knew it wouldn’t go beyond

that. Patrick and I had no future, and that’s why I refused to open my heart and give it to him.

It would be madness. I didn’t want to change my life either. From afar, I had seen what was

happening with Patrick and his family–especially with his father–and I was certain they

would never accept a real relationship between him and me.

“I’ll make dinner,” he said, getting out of bed and walking toward my small kitchen. It was rare

for us to leave the house; I preferred it that way. I didn’t have much free time, and he was

taking up all of it.

“Paula,” he began as we ate in comfortable silence, but the look on his face told me that

nothing good was going to come from his enticing lips. I didn’t want to complicate things.

“Patrick,” I sighed, “I don’t know what you’re about to say, but I want you to stop. This is what it

is, and we’re not going to ruin it. We’ll continue like this until one of us decides to end it. If you say one more word, I’ll take it as a sign that you’ve decided it’s over.” I looked him straight in

the eye.

“Fine, everything’s always on your terms,” he muttered, frustrated, leaning back in his chair as I

walked toward the kitchen.

“That’s better,” I said, sitting on the kitchen counter and touching my legs suggestively. It left

him speechless, and he quickly rushed over to kiss me. It wasn’t long before I felt his erection

pressing against me, making us both groan in excitement.

I jumped out of bed when nausea hit my stomach, and I emptied its contents into the toilet.

“Ugh, this is disgusting,” I muttered, sitting on the bathroom floor, trying to recover from the

nausea. I closed my eyes, thinking about what could be causing this.

I opened the small drawer where I kept my medications. I couldn’t go to university feeling like

this. I moved aside a pack of feminine pads, looking for something that might help, but I froze

when I realized I hadn’t used the pads this month. I bought them every month. I reached for

the small calendar where I marked the dates of my periods, and my hands trembled as I saw

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CHAPTER 110: DARE TO LOVE M…

that I was two weeks late.

**Two weeks!**

I checked the prescription for my monthly birth control shot and realized I was still on time–l hadn’t missed the date. I still had a couple of days left before I needed to get it.

I took deep breaths to calm myself and got into the shower to clear my mind.

We had been careful enough. When we first started, Patrick used condoms. It was clear that

we both wanted to avoid something like this.

I quickly changed clothes, and with wet hair, I left the apartment to head to the nearby

pharmacy.

I kept my thoughts neutral, not leaning toward any specific outcome from the test I had just bought. I bought three tests to be sure.

I tossed my purse on the table and rushed to the bathroom. I opened all three boxes and

followed the instructions. I nervously rubbed my hands together, glancing at the tests on the

sink, and ran my fingers through my hair.

I closed my eyes and held my breath for several seconds. I left the bathroom and sat on my bed, staring at the door.

I rubbed my hands over my face before standing up and walking quickly to the bathroom. I stopped at the door, not quite seeing the results yet. My blood felt light as if it was draining to

my feet.

“Oh God,” I muttered, swallowing hard as I picked up the three tests.

Stupid Patrick had to show up with his damn charm just when I was perfectly fine on my own.

I squeezed the three tests in my hands and returned to my bedroom, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts.

I couldn’t be more than a month or two pregnant, which gave me options. The first was not to have the baby.

What was I supposed to do with a baby from the man I was just sleeping with?

I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and realized I was going to be late for class if I didn’t hurry. I grabbed my purse and left for the university, where it was hard to focus on the professor. My mind wandered now and then, unsure of what I was going to do. I stayed sane for the moment, but if I decided to keep the baby, it would change all my plans.

Before heading to work, I stopped by a lab to take a quick blood test, which left me with no

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CHAPTER 110: DARE TO LOVE M…

more doubts.

**POSITIVE.**

I crumpled the paper and shoved it into my purse before starting my shift at the restaurant. I

expected to see Patrick there, as usual, but this time he didn’t show up. I knew I had to talk to

him before making a final decision–it was the right thing to do.

I was behind the counter at the restaurant, organizing pastries on the shelves, when I noticed

Patrick’s car pulling up to the building across the street.

“Your guy’s here,” my co–worker said. She had picked up on my “non–relationship” with Patrick

and was thrilled about it. She imagined that he would rescue me from this restaurant and

more–something I wasn’t considering.

I glanced between my task and Patrick, who got out of the car. A security guard opened the

other door while Patrick looked toward the café.

I froze when I saw a blonde woman step out of the same car. My co–worker frowned, looking

between me and the scene unfolding outside.

“Who’s that?” she asked, pointing with a pastry tong.

“I have no idea,” I replied, shaking my head. An uncomfortable feeling stirred in my chest, but I

brushed it aside. Patrick and I were just about s*x–I had made that decision.

The woman took his arm, though Patrick didn’t seem very receptive. I watched them enter the

building and disappear inside, forcing myself not to overanalyze the situation. It wasn’t

supposed to matter to me.

Without realizing it, hours passed, and my eyes kept wandering to the building, waiting for

Patrick to come over so I could tell him we needed to talk. I felt nervous about telling him I

was pregnant, even though the decision would ultimately be mine.

I finished my shift and changed out of my uniform, ready to head home and think things over.

I walked a few steps outside the restaurant and noticed Patrick’s car was still parked in front of the building, but he wasn’t in sight. I wrapped my arms around myself and kept walking, feeling the wind tug at my hair.