CHAPTER 110: DARE TO LOVE ME: We Have No Future
Paula
Patrick’s trip lasted a week, and when he returned, he showed up at my door to continue our
encounters, which had been happening more frequently over time. I couldn’t deny that he was
a man who could make you feel on cloud nine–he was attentive and knew exactly what he
was doing in bed. I admitted that I was fascinated by him, but I knew it wouldn’t go beyond
that. Patrick and I had no future, and that’s why I refused to open my heart and give it to him.
It would be madness. I didn’t want to change my life either. From afar, I had seen what was
happening with Patrick and his family–especially with his father–and I was certain they
would never accept a real relationship between him and me.
“I’ll make dinner,” he said, getting out of bed and walking toward my small kitchen. It was rare
for us to leave the house; I preferred it that way. I didn’t have much free time, and he was
taking up all of it.
“Paula,” he began as we ate in comfortable silence, but the look on his face told me that
nothing good was going to come from his enticing lips. I didn’t want to complicate things.
“Patrick,” I sighed, “I don’t know what you’re about to say, but I want you to stop. This is what it
is, and we’re not going to ruin it. We’ll continue like this until one of us decides to end it. If you say one more word, I’ll take it as a sign that you’ve decided it’s over.” I looked him straight in
the eye.
“Fine, everything’s always on your terms,” he muttered, frustrated, leaning back in his chair as I
walked toward the kitchen.
“That’s better,” I said, sitting on the kitchen counter and touching my legs suggestively. It left
him speechless, and he quickly rushed over to kiss me. It wasn’t long before I felt his erection
pressing against me, making us both groan in excitement.
I jumped out of bed when nausea hit my stomach, and I emptied its contents into the toilet.
“Ugh, this is disgusting,” I muttered, sitting on the bathroom floor, trying to recover from the
nausea. I closed my eyes, thinking about what could be causing this.
I opened the small drawer where I kept my medications. I couldn’t go to university feeling like
this. I moved aside a pack of feminine pads, looking for something that might help, but I froze
when I realized I hadn’t used the pads this month. I bought them every month. I reached for
the small calendar where I marked the dates of my periods, and my hands trembled as I saw
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CHAPTER 110: DARE TO LOVE M…
that I was two weeks late.
**Two weeks!**
I checked the prescription for my monthly birth control shot and realized I was still on time–l hadn’t missed the date. I still had a couple of days left before I needed to get it.
I took deep breaths to calm myself and got into the shower to clear my mind.
We had been careful enough. When we first started, Patrick used condoms. It was clear that
we both wanted to avoid something like this.
I quickly changed clothes, and with wet hair, I left the apartment to head to the nearby
pharmacy.
I kept my thoughts neutral, not leaning toward any specific outcome from the test I had just bought. I bought three tests to be sure.
I tossed my purse on the table and rushed to the bathroom. I opened all three boxes and
followed the instructions. I nervously rubbed my hands together, glancing at the tests on the
sink, and ran my fingers through my hair.
I closed my eyes and held my breath for several seconds. I left the bathroom and sat on my bed, staring at the door.
I rubbed my hands over my face before standing up and walking quickly to the bathroom. I stopped at the door, not quite seeing the results yet. My blood felt light as if it was draining to
my feet.
“Oh God,” I muttered, swallowing hard as I picked up the three tests.
Stupid Patrick had to show up with his damn charm just when I was perfectly fine on my own.
I squeezed the three tests in my hands and returned to my bedroom, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts.
I couldn’t be more than a month or two pregnant, which gave me options. The first was not to have the baby.
What was I supposed to do with a baby from the man I was just sleeping with?
I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and realized I was going to be late for class if I didn’t hurry. I grabbed my purse and left for the university, where it was hard to focus on the professor. My mind wandered now and then, unsure of what I was going to do. I stayed sane for the moment, but if I decided to keep the baby, it would change all my plans.
Before heading to work, I stopped by a lab to take a quick blood test, which left me with no
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more doubts.
**POSITIVE.**
I crumpled the paper and shoved it into my purse before starting my shift at the restaurant. I
expected to see Patrick there, as usual, but this time he didn’t show up. I knew I had to talk to
him before making a final decision–it was the right thing to do.
I was behind the counter at the restaurant, organizing pastries on the shelves, when I noticed
Patrick’s car pulling up to the building across the street.
“Your guy’s here,” my co–worker said. She had picked up on my “non–relationship” with Patrick
and was thrilled about it. She imagined that he would rescue me from this restaurant and
more–something I wasn’t considering.
I glanced between my task and Patrick, who got out of the car. A security guard opened the
other door while Patrick looked toward the café.
I froze when I saw a blonde woman step out of the same car. My co–worker frowned, looking
between me and the scene unfolding outside.
“Who’s that?” she asked, pointing with a pastry tong.
“I have no idea,” I replied, shaking my head. An uncomfortable feeling stirred in my chest, but I
brushed it aside. Patrick and I were just about s*x–I had made that decision.
The woman took his arm, though Patrick didn’t seem very receptive. I watched them enter the
building and disappear inside, forcing myself not to overanalyze the situation. It wasn’t
supposed to matter to me.
Without realizing it, hours passed, and my eyes kept wandering to the building, waiting for
Patrick to come over so I could tell him we needed to talk. I felt nervous about telling him I
was pregnant, even though the decision would ultimately be mine.
I finished my shift and changed out of my uniform, ready to head home and think things over.
I walked a few steps outside the restaurant and noticed Patrick’s car was still parked in front of the building, but he wasn’t in sight. I wrapped my arms around myself and kept walking, feeling the wind tug at my hair.
“Paula!” I heard a man’s voice behind me, but the glare from a car’s headlights made me think I had imagined it.
“Paula!” I heard my name again, and someone grabbed my shoulder. I turned around to see
Patrick.
“Patrick,” I said, stopping in my tracks.
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“Sorry, I’ve been in meetings all day,” he explained.
“It’s fine. You don’t owe me any explanations,” I replied curtly. “I need to talk to you,” I added,
and he frowned, likely because he had never seen me this serious.
“Of course, anything,” he said quickly.
“Not here…”
“Patrick,” the blonde woman from earlier called out as she crossed the street. Patrick and I
both fell silent as she approached. “Sweetheart, I thought it would be a good idea for you to
take me out to dinner,” she smiled, completely ignoring me.
“I thought you were with your mother,” Patrick replied, and I didn’t like the look on his face.
“Oh, yes, but I decided to come over, you know…” She trailed off, glancing at me and then back
at him.
“Paula, this is Rachel…”
“His wife,” the woman clarified, leaving me speechless.
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