“I had a memory,” she began, then laughed maniacally. “You know, I wanted to have sex with you; I wanted to sleep with you; I even convinced myself to come talk to you about it because I wanted you so badly. When I saw you masturbating in the shower, I wanted to join you. I even imagined giving you a blowjob and you cumming on my chest.”
I frowned but remained silent. Something told me things had gone terribly wrong.
wouldn’t like what she was about to say.
I
“Here I am, hot for you, longing for you, and my mind had to remind me of some things you said,” she sobbed. “Do you want to know what it was?”
I didn’t want to know, because I knew it would destroy the little progress we’d made, but I nodded anyway.
“Every time I was inside you, I imagined Aurora. Every time I finished, it was her face I saw,” she told me, her voice choked. “Ring any bells?”
My blood froze instantly as she recalled those words. Those words I’d deliberately said to hurt her, to get back at her for hurting Aurora.
“Funny how I’m hot for you now, and in reality, you don’t really want me. I was just a whore, used as a substitute. If you didn’t want me, why did you sleep with me, Sebastian? You could have gotten a mistress; it would have hurt, but I would have preferred that over being used as a tool to satisfy.your desire for Aurora.”
I knew those words would come back to bite me, but I’d been so angry when I’d yelled those things at her, and I only realized what I’d said when it was too late and I couldn’t
take it back.
“It wasn’t like that,” I mumbled, unable to look her in the eye. I felt so much shame and regret for saying those things. I still did.
“Then what was it like? Weren’t those your words? Didn’t you say them? I never held a gun to your head and forced you to sleep with me. When we got married, I never expected us to have a sexual relationship, I told you that. It was you who always came to me. It was you who sought me out. If you knew you didn’t want me, why did you sleep with me? Why use me? Why degrade me like that? You should have just left me alone, Sebastian.”
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Chapter 270
She cried harder, tears staining her cheeks. I moved to touch her, wanting to wipe her tears away, but she flinched.
“Thea…” I wanted to say something, to explain to her, but I didn’t know how to.
“Please leave,” she whispered, standing up. “I can’t stand to look at you or be around you. If I’d known what you thought of me, I would have asked for a divorce and left you. I didn’t deserve the way you treated me or how you used me.”
The words completely shattered me, leaving me frozen in place, because I knew all too well that she had asked for a divorce, she had left me, and if I couldn’t get her to forgive me, then I would lose her forever.
“Listen to me; please let me explain…”
“I told you to fucking leave! I don’t want to see your fucking face,” she shouted, anger filling her voice.
Before I could react, she pushed me out of the bathroom, then out of the bedroom, locking the door. I stood in the hallway, staring at the door. I don’t know how long it was before I stumbled like a zombie to the guest room, closed the door, and slammed my fist against the wall. The wall seemed to crack under my Alpha strength, but I couldn’t care less. It did nothing to ease my pain. I slid down to the floor, letting Orion’s howls fill my
mind.
Why did I say those things? Why didn’t I tell her the truth sooner? I could have avoided all of this if I hadn’t been so fucking proud. How do I explain to her now? Would she even
listen?
I was back at square one, and I didn’t know if things would ever change. Was it too late for us? Was the damage too great for me to ever repair?
I felt warm liquid slide down my cheek. I saw no hope. After what just happened, I didn’t see Thea forgiving me.
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