Paying my Respects
Chapter 18
Addison’s POV
I was still stunned by what I had heard at the will reading. I stayed that way for an hour, even after arriving at the funeral home. I did not know my mother had set up a trust for me. I couldn’t touch it until I was twenty–three or until I had graduated from college, but it was substantial. She wanted me to be able to do what I loved. I had no idea Mom had the kind of money she had. I now realize that my aunt and grandparents were not the ordinary, run–of–the–mill people I thought they were.
I had heard of a boutique called Ana and Alex. I just didn’t know until today that my mother was ‘the‘ Ana in question. It was a high–end clothing boutique in Dallas. Dresses are made for special events and occasions, and if you have the patience and the money to do it, they could make you a closet full of clothing just for you. All the pieces were made specifically for you, which most people cannot afford.
As far as I knew, Mom and I couldn’t afford it either. I found out now that we could have, and it
came as a shock to me. My mother, Ana, was the designer, and my aunt Alex was the
manager and ran its daily operations. She did that because she loved her sister and knew
Mom needed to work from home to be there for me. She did it for us, and I appreciated how
much she has sacrificed for us.
My mother would drive to Dallas twice a week to make sure her visions came to life. Mom had
even sent a few of mine to my aunt to look at. She didn’t mention that I had been the designer.
She just sent them in with hers. She only mentioned it after my aunt approved for them to be
made. The dresses were set up in the windows for people to select from and were then
custom–made for the patrons. It made them one–of–a–kind dresses. I hadn’t even known that I
was a designer yet. That was part of the surprise for the weekend. It was for me to see my design in the window.
My aunt was very impressed by my talent, and she wanted me to continue designing. I was
happy to do it, as designing had always made me happy. It gave me peace to create a gown or
an outfit. I always did it to spend time with my mother, and I was glad we had such a profound
connection. I had used my tablet earlier just to focus on something. My aunt had taken me
out to breakfast after the attorney. We had some time to spare before we had to be at the funeral parlor.
I had decided just this morning that I was going to major in design and minor in business. My
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Paying my Respects
aunt told me I needed to do both, as it would help me be able to run the business. She wanted
me to work with her in my mother’s place. She also insisted I take several accounting courses, as sticky fingers can happen anytime. It is less likely to occur if they know you can go behind them and check for yourself. It had happened to them about ten years ago, and it almost crippled the business.
The second reason for the business degree was because my grandparents owned Dawson Industries. I may not know a lot about different businesses, but I know about their business.
They were not only a construction company, which is how they started building skyscrapers. They branched out into building homes and creating subdivisions before entering real estate.
They were successful in all ventures, with my grandfather still the CEO of Dawson Industries.
My Uncle Nash Williams headed up the real estate end.
They had wanted a solid business to pass down to their daughters when it came time for
them to retire. They didn’t like my father, but my aunt admitted they knew little about him.
Men had chased my mom and aunt after finding out who they were. They thought my father
was also after Mom for her money and gave her an ultimatum. It backfired on them as she
left and got married. They didn’t know her last name, and she went by Ana, which was hard to
trace.
They only found her when I was five years old. But she was still angry with them. She believed
the stress of them running away together caused his cancer to spread quicker, taking him
away from us. I never knew that my mother always blamed herself and her parents for his
death. No wonder Mom allowed her guilt to keep her from moving forward with her life. I know
how much she loved my father, but I would not have judged her for trying to find love again.
My brain takes that moment to tell me to follow my own advice. I didn’t even try to hold my
scoff back. My heart and I are now off–limits. If I don’t allow someone into my heart, they can’t
hurt me. I know I am not in the proper frame of mind right now. I know that if I find someone I
can trust, I might try to fall in love again. But as of right this moment, I can rest assured that it
will be a long time before that happens.
My aunt didn’t post an obituary. She did that deliberately, as my mother did not have many
friends and didn’t want fake people here pretending to be sad. She got a list from Tandy and
me, and those were the ones who were invited. About thirty people showed up. Mr. and Mrs.
Pearson, Principal Carson, his wife, and a few others came to pay their respects. It was raining
when we got to her gravesite. I felt that it was fitting. My aunt, the Pearsons, and I were there
when we laid her to rest. Just the four of us. The driver stayed with my aunt’s SUV.
I was the last one to leave her grave as I said goodbye to my parents. I promised them that I
would be back to visit them. I knew that they would always be with me in my heart, but I also
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wanted to pay my respects to them each month, as my mother had done for the last fifteen
years. The rain helped to hide my tears. I asked the Pearsons not to mention the funeral to
their children. I didn’t want to see them again. I think it was for the best this way.
Holden will be upset, but I will keep up with him and Kate on social media. Other than Mrs.
Pearson, I don’t need any other numbers. I was leaving this life behind; to do that, I needed to
control who I had contact with. I will keep my old phone to transfer their numbers in the next
few days. Then I will ditch it. I will be making up new social media pages to keep in contact. I
am keeping their numbers to fulfill my promise to them.
My aunt had mentioned that I needed to start going by my middle name on social media for
at least the next five years. She also told me that it could be arranged if I wanted to change
my last name to Dawson. Standing here at my parents‘ graves, I decided that I wouldn’t be
changing my surname for any reason other than marriage. It was my last bond with them, so I
just couldn’t do it. I would rather go without a social media presence for the next few years. If I
did get one, it would be just to keep up with a few friends. It won’t be a problem for me
anyway. I plan on giving my entire focus to my college courses.
My aunt didn’t rush me. She let me stand out there to tell them what I needed to say. My
umbrella was not keeping the rain off of me, as I could barely hold it up. I felt terrible leaving
them here but knew I had to go. I can’t stay here anymore, not after what Tammy did. I would be made a mockery of every day if I stayed. I would be the object of ridicule and shame
whenever I was seen. It was best to let go for now; I will revisit it later. It was just like my
mother told me on my birthday. These things won’t last. Five or ten years from now, it will be
just a distant memory. I believe her. She has never steered me wrong before.
I said my final farewells and placed my remaining flowers on my mother’s casket. A sob tore
from me as I nodded to the men who would be putting her in her final resting place. I returned
to the SUV and waved off my aunt’s driver, Charles. He didn’t need to get out to open my door. I
was already wet. There was no need for both of us to be dripping wet now, was there? I slid
into my seat and looked over at my aunt.
“I won’t ask if you are OK because I know you aren’t. I’m not OK either. Luckily, this isn’t that
far, and we can come together to pay our respects. Are you ready for your next journey to
start?” she asked me, her concern showing in her eyes.
“I am. They will always be with me. That was something Mom always said about Dad–that he was like my guardian angel, watching over and protecting me. I was hurt at losing her, but I
could tell they were together again. Knowing that allows me to hurt a little less. Thank you for
the offer. I would like to come back each month and put flowers on their grave,” I replied as
Charles started driving out of the cemetery.
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I closed my eyes as we drove through town to get on the tollway for Dallas. I tried and failed not to think about this area being where my mother lost her life. I was glad I didn’t know exactly where it happened. I knew that I would focus on that each time I returned here, and that was not what I wanted to do. I listened to the sound of the tires and rain as we headed south toward Dallas.
I was glad we were leaving today, as my life was not here anymore. I knew that the first thing Tripp, and probably Alden, would do was head to my house for a “little talk” about them being arrested. Their arrests should be happening today, right after school. I had been worried about what they would do to me when they got out, but I wasn’t worried about Tammy. She might try to slap people, but I knew I could take her. I was glad I was leaving town before they found out about it.
My aunt was on her phone playing phone tag, but she kept her voice down as she spoke. She was a busy lady who had spent two days coming to my rescue. She needed to get back to her family and her job. I know that she was concerned about me. My aunt has already signed me up for therapy to help me get past it. I am willing to do whatever I need to do to stop nightmares from continuing. I won’t let what Tammy did end up ruining me.
refused to give her that kind of control over me. I ended up having a peaceful nap. In it, I saw my mother and father looking down at me with pride, smiling and happy to be back together again.
