Feelings
ISABELLA’S POV
“You shouldn’t worry about him anymore. You’re safe now.”
Alexander’s voice cut through the silence, breaking the fog of my thoughts as I carefully tended to his wounds. We were alone in the clinic. He was sitting on the bed, his upper body
leaning back on the bed frame, and he had a mixed look of exhaustion and determination on
his face.
But even though his words were supposed to be reassuring, it did not bring the comfort they
were meant to. Instead of feeling relieved, I felt something stir deep inside me – a sense of dread that had been lurking ever since Xavier’s parting words echoed in my mind, haunting me
with every breath.
I tried to focus myself on the task at hand, dabbing the antiseptic on the nasty cut on Alexander’s arm. The wound was deep, and I winced at the thought of the pain it must be
bringing upon him. But he didn’t flinch, instead, I can feel his gaze never leaving my face as I
worked.
“You’re safe now, Bella.” He repeated in a firmer tone. “I’ll make sure he won’t bother you again.
”
I raised my head to look at him. After meeting his determined face, I forced myself to smile,
trying to push away the unease gnawing at my insides.
“I know. Thank you for your help…”
I wanted to believe in his words – to feel reassured by his presence. However, the sense of
unease refused to lift from my chest. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly
wrong.
Earlier, it was clear that Alexander took advantage of Xavier’s distraction during their duel
which caused him to win. Alexander didn’t mind the judgment and disdain from the audience
criticizing his victory. I knew he did it for my sake. Xavier’s defeat should’ve been a good thing
– a relief, but all I could think about was the look in his eyes as he walked away, his bruised
and bleeding form, but with a resolve that terrified me.
Why am I even feeling this way? I should be happy that he’d be gone now… That he won’t
bother me again. Yet, the hollow feeling in my chest keeps growing.
“Hey…”
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Feelings
Suddenly, I felt Alexander’s hand gently clasped mine, pulling me out of my thoughts. I flinched at the sudden touch, immediately pulling away from his hold. My eyes met his, and for a moment, I glimpsed a flicker of disappointment flashing across his features before he let out a sigh.
“You still looked troubled. What’s on your mind?”
I looked away from his gaze, wrapping the bandage on his wound and trying to hide the emotions on my face. “Nothing, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”
“Bella…”
I paused on my movements when he called me again. I raised my head and looked at him, just enough to see the serious yet gentle look on his face.
“I know I promised you I’d wait.” He began in a low voice. “But can I ask you again now?”
My heart jolted upon hearing his words. I knew where this conversation was headed, and it only deepened the guilt gnawing at my conscience.
“Will you give me the chance now?” He finally asked, his tone earnest and almost pleading.” To protect you and the kids? I promise I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
I stared at his handsome face that was marred with bruises from the earlier fight. The gentleness in his eyes, combined with the flicker of hope in them, only made my heart ache with guilt even more.
Alexander was a good man. He had helped and supported me more than I could remember.
He had done so much not just for me but also for the twins..
But deep down, I just don’t feel the same way he does. As much as I wanted to reciprocate his feelings, my heart simply wasn’t in it. The memory of Xavier, and the complicated emotions that came with it, overshadowed everything else. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see myself with Alexander in the way he wanted.
“Alexander, we already talked about this.” I began, trying to sound as steady as I could. “You are a wonderful person. You’ve done enough for me, and for the twins, and I’m extremely grateful for that.”
I heaved a deep sigh before I continued. “But I really can’t… I don’t feel the same way about
you.”
His expression faltered, the disappointment could be clearly seen in his eyes, but he remained
silent. So, I continued speaking, despite the tightness in my throat.
“I’m so sorry for dragging you into this mess.” I said, feeling my heart heavy with regret. “I
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Feelings
didn’t want things to turn this way. But it wouldn’t be fair to you if I pretended to feel
something I don’t.”
“I have too much in my plate now. And I don’t want to keep burdening you. We should end our pretense as soon as… Xavier left. I don’t want you to get caught up in my own troubles. The only thing I can offer is friendship. I hope you understand…”
There was a long pause after that. Silence enveloped us, but I can feel the weight in my heart. slightly easing as I finally said those words.
“I understand.” He finally let out a sigh, nodding in acceptance.
I offered him a small, apologetic smile, feeling the weight of my decision settle in my chest. It
was the right thing to do.
“But I’ll still be here for you and the kids, Bella.” Alexander added after a moment. “As your
friend, and as someone who cares about you and the kids. That won’t change.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, grateful at his understanding and support. “That means a lot to me.
Thank you, Alexander.”
“You should take a rest now.”
With nothing more to say, I turned to leave the room. As soon as I stepped out into the hallway, I saw Raymond who had been waiting outside.
“What’s going on?” I asked in a slow, quiet tone. We were inside a private room at the packhouse. Raymond sat across from me, wearing a serious look on his face.
“How are you?”
The concern in his tone made me sigh, but I forced myself to flash him a small smile. “I’m
holding up, Ray.”
He also sighed upon hearing my reply. “I know Xavier’s arrival has brought a lot of trouble for
you.”
I clasped both of my hands together, feeling slightly cold as I hesitated to ask the question.”
Has he… left?”
His lips formed into a thin line, before he shook his head slowly. “No. He’ll be staying until
tomorrow. Our pack is the current host of the annual council meeting, and we can’t just send
him away since he still sustained injuries. That will be detrimental to the pack’s reputation.”
I forced myself to nod, hiding the storm of emotions swirling inside me. The mention of Xavier
being hurt stirred something inside me, that I tried so hard to suppress.
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“There’s something else I need to tell you.” Raymond’s tone went even more serious this time.
“I should’ve discussed this with you sooner, but I didn’t get the opportunity because of Xavier’s
arrival. But you need to know this.”
“What is it?” Worry gnawed at me seeing how serious he really looks now.
“We’ve received a report that evil forces are seeking those with the bloodline of Urduvas. This was also addressed at the council meeting and has been deemed an emergency.”
My heart sank with every word he spoke.