Giving Up
Chapter 37
Addison’s POV
My driver, Colton, is not just my driver. He is also my security. I was not well known, as I tried to keep a reasonably low profile. But I could be googled now after the event last month. My grandparents were billionaires and picked Colton out of all the applicants. Colton protects not just me, but my son Corbin too. Colton and I have an understanding between us. He knows that if it comes down to it, I wanted him to protect my son before protecting me.
My grandparents insisted Colton take me wherever I needed to go. They were concerned about my safety and had interviewed several people before deciding on Colton. He was in his early forties and had a serious demeanor. I felt safer having him around. He was a former special forces soldier, and he was willing to risk his life to keep us safe.
Colton’s driving allowed me to work or study even more during the trip. I trusted Colton, which is why he does double duty. My grandparents pay his salary until I graduate in a year, then I will take over. I can promise you that he is worth every penny. Colton is a good guy with a sweet wife and two children in their late teens. I will be twenty–one in just two weeks. Colton has been driving me since I was eighteen, even before Corbin was born. I think he thinks of his own children when working with me.
I attend classes three times a week: Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. If I need to, I also hit the boutique on those same days. I stay at home most of the time. I send my designs via email and handle most boutique issues over the phone. So, Colton can be with his family much more than with a typical job. If I need him for anything else, we plan for it. For example, once a month, he drives me to Frisco for me to replace the flowers on my parent’s grave. Colton watches over me, but he does so from the SUV to give me space to speak to my parents. I haven’t taken Corbin with me yet. I am very emotional while I talk to them. I miss them both so much.
I will when he gets a little older. At two, he wouldn’t understand what was going on. I know I didn’t fully understand about death until I was around ten. Before that age, it was more knowing that my father was never going to be coming back to me. I also don’t want anyone there in Frisco to see him. They would immediately know that he was Garrett’s child. I didn’t want anyone to tell him just yet. He just got the contract and would now have the funds to take him from me. I wanted to be ready for when that day came.
Colton made me feel safe from the first day he started working with me two and a half years
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Giving Up
ago. He asked me right off the bat if I had any known enemies. Tammy’s name came up,
followed by Tripp and Alden. I don’t know if the guys would be madder at me for them getting
into trouble or Tammy for instigating what happened to them. Over the last two years, I have expounded on what has happened to me to him without having to get to the meat of it. His uptake was quick, and he knew what I wasn’t saying. I have now had to add Dina to the list.
Colton was professional and had googled each one from the original list. He knew what they
looked like. He had all of their pictures now. He told me that he doesn’t like to be caught by
surprise. I can’t blame him. I don’t either. He now has a picture of Dina that Phillip gave him. He just added Garrett’s photo as well. He knew who Garrett was the moment he looked at him.
I added Garrett to the list when I added Dina. Garrett had returned to his old ways. Colton
hadn’t heard of him yet, but Garrett had just been drafted. He would learn his name soon enough. Colton was a little upset when I mentioned that Garrett didn’t know about Corbin yet. Some have judged me for not informing him that he was a father. I have struggled with that very thing for years, even from the moment I knew I was pregnant. But the pain he has caused
me is still very fresh in my mind.
He was the one who had suddenly turned on me with no warning at all. Treating me like I was the one who had wronged him. When he was the one who had betrayed and left me behind, it didn’t matter now. I will accept his judgment and anger when he finally finds out. Then, I will tell him why and see if he still has righteous anger. Once Garrett finds out, Colton will know precisely why I was so scared of him taking Corbin away. I still felt the pain of losing Garrett to Tammy. That heartbreak still burns. It’s just not as bad as it felt when I first saw them back
together again.
I still can’t believe he had the nerve to do that to me. It seemed like he was telling me the truth that night. The pain is still fresh, lying just under the surface and wanting to be let out. Wanting me to tell him exactly how much he hurt me by his choices. I would have bowed out to make him happy. He didn’t have to do it like he had. It broke my heart to hear that he had decided I wasn’t worth waiting for. He was angry with me again, and I have no idea why. But I won’t fight him about it. He is making another decision concerning me without speaking to
me about it first.
I had accepted my fault in this whole thing. I wanted Garrett. I loved him and wouldn’t take our night together back for anything in the world. Our being together had created Corbin, my biggest blessing. So, I would never change what happened that night between us. What I would change, is me believing him when he told me he loved me. I wouldn’t have fallen for his
lies had I known.
If I had known, I wouldn’t have gone looking for him the next day. I would have skipped the
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assault that still occasionally haunts my dreams. I would have hardened my heart and accepted it for what it was–one night together. That was all I would be able to get from him. I would also refuse to tell him that I loved him. I wouldn’t give him that power over me–the power to know just how much he hurt me by picking Tammy.
“Are you OK, Ms. Vilario?” I heard Colton’s voice ask. I knew that he saw me crying.
“I am fine, Colton,” I replied with a tight smile as I wiped the tears from my face.
“I will have you home in less than ten minutes,” he replied. His eyes firmly on the road. I knew what the warning was for. My son and aunt hated to see me upset. He was giving me the time I needed to calm down. Corbin was still anxious over the incident at the event. He still sleeps in my bed with me a few times a week because of it. Thankfully, he is feeling better these days. I usually cry in the shower or in my bed when my mind likes to go down such a painful memory lane. My heart encouraged the ‘what–if‘ game as well. There are no what–ifs anymore.
It is done.
“Thank you,” I whispered back to him. This was what I meant about trusting him. He knew me very well. He knew how my family would react to me coming home visibly upset. I pushed everything back down again. When I am home with my family, especially my son, I try to give them my complete attention. Studying and work, take a back burner to my family.
This was just another reason to be thankful for Colton. Whatever rules he makes up for me are all common sense and always promote my safety. I followed his instructions to the letter. For example, I don’t leave the building that houses my class until he texts me. He also flashes his headlights once as I approach the SUV to let me know it is him.
But he always instructed me to be careful and monitor my surroundings, reminding me to make sure he was the person behind the wheel. He would raise his hand like he was waving at me if it was not safe. He has drilled these rules into me numerous times, reminding me that I am the kind of target that kidnappers aim for. It is an easy one with a big payoff.
For my safety, I have been going to a self–defense class that I have taken twice a month for the last year. I continue to do it to keep in shape and keep my skills current. It certainly came in handy with Dina. That had been a suggestion from both Evan and Colton. They were right. Now that I can defend myself, I feel stronger. It also helped me lose my baby weight. I still have a shapely figure, but I am now size ten. I will never be a size six, and frankly, I don’t want to be. I want to eat what I want and enjoy my life.
My aunt continued to run the business as the face of the company. She wanted me to come forward on several occasions to be acknowledged as the designer for Ana and Alex, but I was okay with staying in the shadows. She was so proud of me and all I have accomplished in
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three years. I was about to take my finals. I am so looking forward to the last year of school. I
have been a machine since the moment I found out I was pregnant. I took the maximum number of courses. I knew my life would be much busier when the baby came, and I was right.
All I wanted was for my baby to be well taken care of and for him to have what he needs to
succeed. I was also concerned that I needed resources to fight Garrett once he learned about
Corbin. I knew him; he would try to take him away from me if only to hurt me even more. He
had finally made it to the pros. I saw the announcement the other day but already knew he
would. He was an exceptional player.
He will be moving away this summer to start his life on the East Coast playing for North
Carolina. I am sure that he is ecstatic now. He had everything that he wanted in life. I cringed
at my thought process. I knew I needed to stop thinking about him. There was no point to it.
He made his choice just a few weeks ago, and it wasn’t me. My twenty–first birthday was one
of the worst I can remember because of that fact. The only one worse was when I lost my
father.
Garrett would probably be happy to learn about our son, even if we never discussed having
children. Knowing Corbin would be loved more than me hurt a little, but I knew it was the cold,
hard truth. Garrett never wanted or loved me–not like I had loved him. The sooner I accept
that I need to give up, the better. Maybe then, my heart can finally start to heal.
